Be My Muse
by Adobo-chan
Summary: COMPLETE. Companion to "Every Day Secrets." AU. Good girls don't chase after rock stars. Luckily for Karin and Toushirou, they weren't much of either. HitsuKarin; IchiRuki
1. I don't wanna wonder anymore, boy

**AN: **So I decided to write the side story to "Every Day Secrets" just because I adore Karin and Toushirou. LOL Yeah, I'm a sucker for this couple. I swear I write so much for them. I've already done three fics in approximately three months and that in itself is crazy. Probably because it's my last semester of college and I won't be able to keep this pace up forever. Gotta strike while the iron's hot. This isn't a one-shot because 1) my best friend says one-shots are supposed to be short and she thinks I'm crazy for writing so much for only one part anyway and 2) I just really wanted to post this. Haha. So expect the second (but probably no third) part in a few days to a week. Enjoy the fic everybody!

_Summary_: Companion to "Every Day Secrets." AU. Good girls don't chase after rock stars. Luckily for Karin and Toushirou, they weren't much of either. HitsuKarin and IchiRuki.

_Warnings_: Read "Every Day Secrets" first! It just makes more sense that way. If you don't want to, just be prepared to be a little confused. Where the plot actually starts is in the second part of that fic. I recommend that you do read it just to be safe though. Plus, who doesn't love a good Ichiruki? =D

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><p><em>Part One: I don't wanna wonder anymore, boy<em>

There were two things that Kurosaki Karin was normally associated with: being a tomboy and her brother.

The former was easy enough to understand. As a kid, she was every bit of the word, her hair cut short just below her earlobes, a pair of soccer shorts and plain tee always on hand, plus a baseball cap she never went without. Her closest friends had been (and probably always would be) boys, and she had none of the interests her sister, Yuzu, had, which essentially boiled down to cooking with their mother, playing dress up and owning a variety of dolls. And while that didn't make her very popular with the female half of her class, Karin soon became well versed with boys' minds. They were similar to open books to her, their thinking rather simple if one got to know them as intimately as she did.

It helped that she more or less looked like one of them as a child, flat-chested and with a distinctly deeper voice that her twin's. Even now at eighteen years old, she still carried a shadow of that childhood self on her. Her physicality had morphed, as she always knew it would, but her attitude and language was much more suitable for a soccer game than a tea ceremony with well-to-do gentlewomen. But she had some pride in that part of herself, if she was honest.

The latter was completely out of her hands, a curse brought down simply because her brother was a very talented actor with a bright future and much too pretty to be walking by himself on the streets. It seemed that all of the Kurosaki children had taken after their mother, formerly a well-known actress in her day who'd retired at her peak to start a family with a small town physician. However, it seemed that a bit of her acting genes had been passed onto Ichigo, who showed great range in school plays and had somehow transitioned into small supporting roles on TV and movies. Now, with his crossing through puberty and into adult roles, he had fully developed into a leading man and the whole country was taking notice.

Stuck between a rising star and a beautiful-by-comparison twin, it was a wonder that Karin hadn't lost herself in self-pity or inferiority, a dark rift that would have turned a weaker person into an abrasive attention-seeker. Perhaps it was a combination of good parenting and a bit of her own precociousness, but Karin knew exactly who she was and what she wanted to be, and that meant becoming someone completely different from her siblings. She wore her individuality as a badge of courage, shrugging off whispers of oddness in high school and growing into the assertive and independent college student she was now. She'd be lying if she said it wasn't a little satisfying to have the last laugh.

Ever since she was a kid, she hadn't put much stock in her older brother's love affair with show business nor did she want to follow him into it, having heard from Ichigo himself about the people who attempted to sweet talk him in order to get favors and the insanity that came with the paparazzi chasing him down busy streets. During the few incidences that she'd been caught in that kind of mess with him, Karin knew firsthand that he wasn't exaggerating, the sea of fans and cameramen as thick as molasses but with even stickier hands. A part of her wondered how someone like Ichigo, who valued his privacy almost more than he enjoyed his work, could deal with the insanity that came with being famous. It was almost as much of a mystery as to how that stone-still face of his could transform into a series of different expressions when he was on camera. Truly there were just some things in this world that she would never understand.

Case in point: one of her brother's best friends, Hitsugaya Toushirou.

The two boys had met when they were both in high school, totally opposite sides of the spectrum. Kurosaki Ichigo was then the misunderstood actor kid, on the brink of making it big and a constant source of both adoration and animosity to his schoolmates, depending on who you asked. And he wasn't the type to just sit in the background either. Even when he was stooped low in his seat, taking notes after missing a week of classes, there was something about him that made it hard for a person to turn away. How he ended up in the class that housed all of academic-minded students (and managed to stay in it) was still an enigma to her. But he wasn't the only one in that class who drew much unwanted attention.

Early on, Hitsugaya had gained a reputation for being the ice-cold genius with a perpetually arrogant look on his face, known as the boy who had just transferred back to Japan after studying in Europe. He was placed among the most scholastically gifted and stayed at the top with ease that others envied. But that strange, almost foreign perfection of his gained him admirers, not friends. He kept everyone at a distance, only half-listening when a conversation was started and playing polite so as not to ruffle the oversensitive feathers of his peers.

What was funny was that Ichigo had no idea who Hitsugaya was until they were tasked with a paper, and Hitsugaya couldn't have cared less who the overtly popular Ichigo was outside of the classroom. That was how Karin first met the white-haired teen, as she walked into her living room one day only to see the two of them engaged in a battle of words, standing and looking ready to trounce each other. Tilting her head to the side, her school bag in one hand and her soccer gear on the opposite shoulder, she deemed this a good enough time to interrupt.

"I'm back, Ichi-nii. Ichi-nii's friend," she nodded to each of them, walking into the kitchen as they both separated. There was always something about a younger person watching that made one ease off the anger a little, but the way they were both glaring said that they were only doing this for propriety's sake.

"Karin, this is Toushirou from my class. He'll be staying for dinner 'cause we're working on a project," he said, gesturing to the smaller boy to his left. The gesture was rather reluctant but she knew better than to say something.

"It's Hitsugaya to you," the other interjected gruffly, frowning discretely at his host. But Ichigo waved him off, completely uncaring of the technicalities of the situation. Trust her brother to break centuries of tradition merely because he didn't like them.

"Well Yuzu'll be back in an hour to make dinner so let her know," Karin interrupted before her brother could. But the look she gave them contrasted deeply with her light words, a glare that no thirteen year old should give anyone, much less two men who were older than her. It was a half-lidded warning mixed with the promise of dark retribution if they didn't comply with her orders, which were no killing each other in the house and finishing up their project as soon as possible. It seemed to do its job, as both closed their mouths begrudgingly and turned away to keep from saying anything else.

And funnily enough, that little essay for their history class bonded the two of them for life, completely unintentional and just a little bit against their wills. Not that either would say anything about their newly formed friendship, as both men vehemently denied that they liked each other, only that they had few friends in school other than a selective group. Of course Karin let it slide, letting them live happily in their denial. After all, Rome wasn't built in a day but neither was a long lasting relation, at least not the kind that these two had.

So she grew up with the snow-haired genius, getting through high school as Ichigo's weird little sister, Yuzu's much odder twin, the tomboy who played on the boys' soccer team, and a host of other names that she didn't recall. Karin refused to define herself, refused to listen to all of the naysayers and conform into some special little box so she could maintain some imaginary status quo. She had a brother who was worshipped on a daily basis, who hated the typecasting that came with his name, who fought for each and every role he wanted because people wanted him only as the romantic hero and never the treacherous villain. So she refused to boil down all her quirks and flaws just so a bunch of kids with nothing better to do would stop talking about her.

But one particularly hard day during her third year had the ever-strong Kurosaki Karin at her limit. Just after winning their division's championship, she had gained the title as 'Most Valuable Player,' a complete surprise but a joyous one. Her teammates were congratulatory, honestly so, and supportive, patting her on the head and dumping water bottles in her hair. But then there were those murmurs from the spectators, other teams who eyed her with disdain and mild disgust. After all, what teenage boy wanted to know that they'd been bested by a younger girl?

Clutching the metal in her hand, she felt her fingertips rove over the perfectly melded ledges and letters, a sense of ambivalence in her. Karin knew that she'd earned it. She'd played her best season to date, beating out competitors that pushed her well passed her physical and mental limits. She didn't mind the hate (she'd been dealing with it since she first joined her own team, after all), but it certainly left a bad taste in her mouth. Maybe that was the cause of this melancholy, an uncharacteristic moodiness that dampened her spirits and made her leave the celebration early in favor of her thoughts. Or hormones. Normal girls acted really weird on occasion, right? It wasn't as if she could escape her own biology.

"Is that you Karin?" A very familiar voice broke her reverie, as she turned her head to see Hitsugaya, a plastic bag in his hand. She noticed that he was in casual dress and looked decidedly different in it, too used to seeing him in his former school uniform. She nodded at him silently.

"What're you doing here by yourself?" he asked, eyeing her and her new behavior suspiciously. This was a completely different Karin he was encountering, not full of her usual bursts of boisterous energy or sarcastic replies. No, she was much more contemplative, almost sad if he had to attach an emotion to it. Inwardly he decided he didn't care much for this side of her.

"It's nothing," she shrugged, her eyes going back to the setting horizon, taking in the smearing of orange, red and yellow with unseeing eyes. But he didn't buy it, especially not when she looked that troubled.

"I have time," he offered, climbing over the railing and putting the bag down on the cool grass. His groceries could wait. His granny had only asked him to buy a few things for dinner tomorrow and there was nothing that was going to expire. Besides, he didn't feel right leaving her alone when she was so obviously not herself. It just didn't sit well with him.

Instead of saying anything, she held out the newly minted award, passing it to him with reluctance. Taking it, he couldn't hold back the confused frown, even as he read the achievement. It certainly didn't answer his question; if anything, it only left him with more.

"So, you're upset that you're MVP?" He left his usual snark out, knowing that the younger girl was more than a little sensitive right now. It would've been so much easier if she was her normal self, that brash self-confidence always rubbing him the wrong way and causing him to lose his temper. He'd trade just about anything for that girl back, as he handed it off and she eyed it disdainfully in her small hand.

"No, of course not. Who doesn't want to be MVP of their division?" It was a question, but he felt it was less rhetorical and more along the lines of convincing herself. A glance at the half-angry, half-helpless stare on her face was more than enough for him to figure it out. After all, it was a look he knew well, one he wore throughout his own high school existence.

"Let me guess. Some of the other teams didn't take it too well when you received it." When she didn't make a move to agree or disagree, only frowned a little more at the clunk of metal, he knew he'd guessed right. He'd been on the same end of similar heat-seeking comments, remembering the biting remarks whenever he garnered some sort of academic recognition or an approving word from a teacher.

To his jealous classmates, he was skating by in subjects. Even if they all shared the same advanced courses, they saw it as him not being deserving of the esteem because of his 'genius.' He hated that term with a passion, as if his gifts were merely God-given and not of his own hard work. It wasn't his fault that words and numbers came easily to him, settled themselves into his mind with remarkable ease that he actually enjoyed opening his text books and discovering that he had much more to learn. He had never taken learning as a challenge but as an adventure. In fact, the only other passion that rivaled his curiosity was rock music, his unlikely love for that perfect symphony and meaningful lyrics plus the sound of an adoring crowd made even his most skeptical critic look twice.

"Can I give you a piece of advice?" he asked, making sure he wasn't about to tread on any toes. Karin was notoriously self-sufficient, depending on no one but herself when it came down to the bare bones of a situation. But she was surprisingly receptive, as she glanced up at him inquiringly, looking as if he might have an answer to her problem. Taking the medallion again, he pulled the strap so that it became a triangle, stepping in front of her as did. He almost chuckled at the distrustful look in her eye, and somehow it made him infinitely more comfortable, as he placed the gold around her neck and smirked down at her with a conspirator's gleam in his eye.

"Don't let a bunch of guys who don't even know you tell you what you deserve and what you don't. They just didn't want to lose to a girl and in a few years, they'll probably be chasing you down for other reasons."

"Yeah? Like what?" She cocked her head to the side, just the slightest bit perplexed. He couldn't help but laugh, ruffling her hair and causing her to yelp at the rough form of affection. It only made her scowl, but not before she turned pink at his explanation.

"Trust me, a guy never forgets a pretty girl, Karin, especially not one who beats him in a sport." And somehow the older man was able to make her hours-long rumination make sense in only a few minutes.

It had been well over a year since then, and yet the memory still gave her butterflies and perhaps even a few bumblebees whenever she let herself remember. It was also the last real conversation she'd had with Hitsugaya, who returned to college a week later to finish his junior year as well as to continue promoting his independent band. It grated on her nerves, how easily he came to mind when she had a moment of weakness, holding onto that bit of kindness like a lifeline.

Eventually she graduated a year later, going off to her first year of college and finding that the white-haired man was absolutely right (as he oftentimes was). More than a few boys had remembered the firecracker named Kurosaki Karin from high school, and each of them had been from some rival team within her district. It also meant she had been asked out for coffee, lunch, dinner and a number of other things she had no particular interest in going to more than a few times. While being known for her inability to hold tact in a bottle, Karin had pleaded out of the majority of the invites, trying not to scare off every boy that came to her so she wouldn't gain some reputation as a senseless heartbreaker. She merely had no interest in the ones that had approached her.

Unfortunately, Karin was one of those deeply-in-denial, closet romantics, the ones that believed in true love and faith and all that good stuff. It was almost embarrassing because while her younger sister could say it without a hint of shame or doubt, she shuffled around those kinds of questions with a shrug and blew it off with an easy dismissal. She'd never been the type to flirt shamelessly or smile for no reason and that had made her less attractive to the other gender in high school, especially when compared to the perpetually happy Yuzu.

So between her boyish upbringing and her brother's super star status, Karin was just so plainly herself. Pretty and smart and athletic, but overall lacking if one looked at the eldest Kurosaki sibling's national and international achievements. But she'd never change any part of herself, not for anything in the world or for anyone else's satisfaction.

But if only she could catch one person's eye…

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><p>As she watched her brother's dark-haired companion follow him out of the room, Karin felt immensely better about who Ichigo was spending him precious extra time with. She'd seen enough girls on his arm that refused to stick around, not because he liked to toy with them but because he couldn't seem to find one that fit into his hectic life. A number of non-celebrity girls he'd tried dating had ended up being either fame-hungry andor money-hungry or terrified of the spotlight and decidedly not as into Ichigo as they'd thought. And while the former was all types of annoying, it was the latter that most oftentimes broke his heart, finding that no matter how good of a guy he was those girls had deemed he was he wasn't worth the trouble that went with his status.

On the other end of the spectrum, he did have a few relationships with certain celebrities, mostly models or idols. His last one, Orihime Inoue, had been beautiful and kind, though occasionally a bit lacking in the common sense department. Karin had thought they'd last but it just wasn't fated to be, as she found out that Ichigo himself had ended the courtship just as things were starting to get serious. When she asked him why, his straightforward answer left her a little surprised, less at his reasoning and more at his unadulterated wisdom. He had looked her in the eye over the dinner table and said in an unusually hushed tone of his, "We weren't meeting on the levels we were supposed to. I think she was falling in love with me more than I was with her, and it wouldn't have been fair to lead her on like that."

In that moment, Karin got a lesson in love she knew she wouldn't forget; that there was more to romance than chemistry and compatibility. It was also about timing. A girl could be the happiest person on earth in love, but if her lover didn't feel the same, then everything would be for naught. They had parted ways as friends, but even Karin knew that the older girl was heartbroken, hiding it behind a tearful smile and gentle, encouraging words.

It seemed that even the most honest loves could end ugly.

But that girl... Kuchiki Rukia was it? She wasn't quite sure what it was about her, but Karin had a good feeling about that one. It was something in the way she talked, loud and authoritative that was in contrast to her size, and the way her eyes seemed to follow Ichigo with a seriousness that belied her age. There was no way that this was a woman who did things half-hearted, but was instead sure of herself and comfortable in her own skin. She was most definitely a woman who, if she wasn't in love already, would fall hard and fast for her brother, someone who would see that all the good Ichigo offered far outweighed any of the bad. As for the redhead himself, Karin knew he was far too deep to escape his feelings now; she'd bet everything she owned that she was right. Years of manipulation left that head of his vulnerable to her eyes and completely at her disposal.

As her thoughts finally filtered back to reality, she realized just where she was again and that it was probably time to go. Madarame was already packing his stuff and Ayasegawa wasn't primping himself as per usual. Definitely a sign. She turned back to them to say her goodbyes, once again thanking the feathered man for the extra ticket and backstage pass. The fake ID she'd bought a few months ago would go into hiding again at the bottom of her sock drawer, its use only for good and not evil (... most days).

"How're you getting home, Karin-chan?" Hisagi asked, as he grabbed his wallet from the table and clutched his phone in the other. She shrugged by force of habit.

"Not sure. A taxi? Actually my dorm isn't too far so I can walk," she replied, as she checked for the time. 12:24 AM. Late but not so much that it should be any problem. A fifteen-minute walk was hardly a far distance and even that was a bit of a stretch. She could probably jog it in seven.

"You are _not_ going to walk."

Turning to the disgruntled voice, Karin couldn't quite hold back the sneer at his commanding tone. If it wasn't sarcasm then it was authority that underlined half his words, and they were the only two emotions she could force out of him. Other than that one of act of kindness she couldn't remember a time when he hadn't handled her with kiddy gloves, always at arms' length and with knowing condescension in his gaze.

"I really don't think you have a say." Flipping her phone shut and shoving it into her small bag, she waved goodbye to the last of the group's backstage personnel who were departing for the night. In a few minutes, it emptied until only she and _Death to the Party_ stood in the small sitting room.

"I think he's right, Karin. It's not beautiful for a girl to walk home alone, especially if she's leaving the company of four men," Yumichika offered, making her cluck her tongue against the side of her cheek. With an approving nod from the bald man and the bassist, she knew she had no other choice. It was either go willingly or forcibly, and she was pretty sure she'd cause too much of a stir in the early morning with the second one.

"Okay then. Can I go with you, Hisagi-san?" she asked, not noticing she'd given him a pretty smile as she asked, nor did she fully comprehend the reason for the drizzle of red on his cheeks. All Karin knew was that she didn't want to end up with Toushirou, not after he so thoroughly dismissed her only moments prior. Knowing the two of them together, they'd probably end up fighting the entire way back and that would be all bad.

"Uh, no, I think you should go with someone else…" he stuttered, catching the overprotective gleam in their leader's eyes. But it wasn't as if anyone could blame him. When an attractive young woman looked at a guy as endearingly as she had, was he not supposed to react? He wasn't Hitsugaya, after all. That kid could turn down women like he was rejecting overcooked bean sprouts, nonchalant and without a hint of regret. Well, all except this one, of course.

"I'll take you," the white-haired man said decisively, nodding as the other three dismissed themselves. The not-quite maniacal grin of glee on Madarame's face said more than any words possibly could. And when their next practice rolled around, he knew he'd be fighting off a number of inappropriate innuendos and working them into the ground as punishment for their impertinence. When it was finally just the two of them, he motioned for her to follow him out to the back parking lot.

It was with reluctance that she did so, and she knew he could tell even though she was behind him. But it wasn't because she didn't want to go with him. It was because he made her feel like a chore, as if he was only looking after his friend's sister but wasn't particularly interested in the actual girl himself. Was it really so hard to separate her brother from the equation?

He opened the door of his red Ferrari for her and it hurt her pride to think she was more than a little impressed. It was common knowledge that Hitsugaya Toushirou wasn't like normal humans, but just how much would surprise even the most seasoned of journalists and others who were supposedly in-the-know. Not only was he a prodigy and an indie rock icon, Toushirou was also the sole heir to a conglomerate whose earnings could dwarf a number of small countries' Gross National Products. As to why he was allowed free reign when he was set to inherit the 'family business' (as his father so quaintly put it) was still a mystery to her. Not that she'd ever ask the older man. They weren't close enough for her to inquire without looking like she was prying, nor did she have some excuse like inebriation to soften the blow. So she kept it to herself, wondering if one day she'd gather enough courage to ask him after sitting on the question for so long.

As he pulled out of the parking lot, Karin could feel her nerves sting in the cool air of the convertible, wondering if she should try to make some conversation. Tonight had been their first real meeting since that previous encounter, all the meaningless drive-bys so few and far between that they barely even greeted each other because they were so fleeting. After all, they both lived very different lives on two separate, almost alien planes, as if there was an invisible barrier between them that she wasn't sure either could transverse or knock down.

"You guys put on an awesome show," she started, her eyes going to him as she tried to ease them into some sort of talk. He grunted, acknowledging it but offering little else. She almost tsk-ed, partly upset that he hadn't even said thanks. "You know, you could at least pretend to be nice to me. It's not like I'm asking for a miracle whenever I attempt to have a decent conversation with you."

"You shouldn't have come tonight," he replied, not taking his eyes off the road but giving her essentially what she wanted, a topic for discussion. Unfortunately, it wasn't one that she really wanted to talk about, knowing that it was bound to turn into an argument.

"Oh really?" She crossed her arms over her chest, glaring at him through her front bangs. "Why? Was I in the way or something?"

"You're underage at a bar by yourself with a bunch of half-drunk people. Did you really think about what you were doing when you left your dorm?"

"It's not the end of the world, Toushirou. Eighteen year olds have been sneaking into clubs for years now. I'm pretty sure the rest of the universe won't fault me for this one little transgression."

"I'm not worried about _those_ people, I'm worried about _you_."

The words catch her train of thought, halting the slow boiling of indignant anger and making way for something else entirely. Shock might be it but she's not one-hundred percent sure; it feels like it might be something else as well. She twisted her neck to face him fully, an indescribable look on her face as she watched him with unsure eyes. And although he would've liked to meet that gaze, he made no reaction, as he pulled up to her building and stopped in front of the entrance. She'd forgotten that a short walk meant an even shorter drive, as she looked out to her complex with irritation. But she didn't let it faze her, as she turned back and pretended that they hadn't arrived at all.

"What do you mean by that?" Her voice had an uncharacteristically hardened edge to it, as if she was steeling herself against him. He tried not to read too far into the action.

"Exactly the way it sounds. I don't want you getting into trouble," he shrugged, as if it was that simple. But things were never as they seemed between them. There was always more, some sort of subtext that they couldn't help but use whenever it was just the two of them. Their conversations may have been few but they weren't the kind of dialogues that were used to just fill the silence. Maybe that in itself was the problem. They were free-falling into something and they had no idea what it was or where the hell they were going.

"Like Ichi-nii, right? You're watching out for me because I'm like your younger sister." Her eyes narrowed dangerously, drawing the conclusion out of thin air after having nothing else to go on. But it was the only reason she could find because their underlying words were always encrypted, a language that neither of them seemed to understand, much less speak. Her accusation only made him glare right back, his answer little more than a growl of annoyance.

"No, I don't see you like that at all."

Before she could ask something else, he gave her a pointed look, one promptly saying that she'd overstayed her welcome. It forced her to open the door, silent as she put one foot out and then the other. But while she may have been quiet, her defiant stare back at him was anything but. They were going to finish this conversation one day soon, it promised. After she shut the door, she could only watch as the car peeled out onto the street, carrying their half-completed conversation with it.

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><p><strong>AN:<strong> Soo... thoughts? :) Review/favorite/alert if you enjoyed! It feeds the hungry Karin!muse who abuses me on a daily basis. No lie. She feeds off my life force if you don't. And for anyone who might be looking for it, don't worry about the IchiRuki. There will be a special place for it in the second part.

And! I have a (not-so-secret) surprise! I do plan on doing a new multi-chapter IchiRuki and I'm going to add the summary at the end of the next chapter. So yes that means I will be working on two fics simultaneously. Wish me luck!

Thanks for reading, everyone!

P.S. Do you know what song my story and chapter titles come from? (Which I don't own by the way.) ;D


	2. Gotta hear you say the words

**AN:** Well, this turned out longer than I expected (stop smiling, Glowing Blue, yes I can see you!) but I refused to split this into two parts. Instead, one major epic extreme ending for the win! LOL Yeah, I'm tired. I've been sick so I think my light-headedness is getting to me. T.T Enjoy everyone! Reviews are loved, by the way. :)

_Warnings_: Nothing that should morally offend anyone. :D

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><p><em>Part Two: Gotta hear you say the words<em>

"So… I'm gonna guess that you didn't tell her."

Karin gave her older brother a brief meaningful stare, as she watched the entertainment news relay the day's top story for the umpteenth time that morning. Forget the fact that it was only ten o'clock, everyone on every station was broadcasting this little phenomenon and she had no doubt that her brother's little misdeed would make it to the evening news too. After all, kissing a big screen actor right outside one's apartment didn't really bode well for future privacy. In fact, it did pretty much the opposite.

The actor in question was too busy to give her sarcastic comment a proper reply, as he paced back and forth while yelling into his cell phone. Just from the rough tone of his voice and the angry gestures, she was able to guess it was his manager, Ise Nanao, who was probably laying down the rules in that staunch, straightforward way they were all so used to. The woman was a force to be reckoned with, especially since Ichigo's agent, Kyouraku Shunsui, was a bit lazy when it came to actually dealing with his client's career. Honestly it was a wonder they'd stayed with him so long, if Karin thought about it.

Pretending not to notice when he closed his phone with an aggravated sigh, the raven-haired Kurosaki turned and leaned against the back of the couch while watching with worried eyes. Ichigo was rarely the type to be frustrated with even the most difficult roles and projects. They were carried off without breaking his cool, and he was always rushing head first into the next one. But this little stumble in his personal life, one incident with a girl he was so obviously interested in, had left only a fraction of his usual composure. It was almost frightening.

"Ichi-nii, just call her." In her brother's upscale city apartment, she plucked at the crème couch with fidgety fingers, a frown set in place as her brother just glared at his cell, as if he could will it to fix this PR mess. Not that it'd work, but maybe if he made the move to actually call then he might get somewhere. After all, she hadn't rushed over at eight in the morning because of an 'emergency' just so he could wimp out at the last minute. If nothing else, Rukia deserved to hear an explanation from him, especially considering he hadn't told her about his full identity beforehand. Vaguely Karin couldn't help but the Kuchiki girl was either very sheltered or overly oblivious because it was hard to think there wasn't a young person (especially a female one at that) who couldn't recognize Ichigo's face. Refreshing but frustrating all the same.

"I can't, Karin. What if she doesn't wanna talk to me?" he asked, his voice a harsh plea, border-lining irritable. Frowning even more deeply, she watched as he moved towards the opposite end of the sofa, flicking his mobile open and close. It was one of his nervous tics. "Even worse, what if she just yells at me and tells me never to see her again? All this fucking noise over one measly kiss!"

"You don't mean that and you know it," she scowled, not liking the way he was downplaying how he really felt. Ichigo didn't just kiss just any girl, and certainly not on a public street in the middle of the night. But she knew that by denying that it was anything else but a fluke moment of physical attraction, it would be easier for him to mask his feelings. Regardless of whether she intended to or not, Rukia had walked back to her apartment with more than a good night kiss and a head full of memories. That beaten, torn through and banged up heart of Ichigo's had gone with her and it wasn't coming back anytime soon. "Ichi-nii, you like this girl, as in _really_ like her. You can't just pretend that you're not feeling things just because you were hurt before. That's not fair to Rukia… or you."

He became silent then, just as he closed his cell phone again and gripped it tightly in his hand. A look of intense concentration filled into his brow, a type of anger she'd never seen on him taking over his features. It was a muddled mix of helplessness, sorrow and self-directed fury, coming from a place she was sure he didn't even know he had. But for all the looks her older brother's face had formed, this one was easily his most expressive, and it was all because of one small college student who had wormed herself deeply into her brother's heart.

_Oh Ichi-nii, if only you could see your face right now... You'd never doubt your feelings again._

Taking the abused device from his hand, Karin searched for the number Nanao had texted him and clicked the call button. He panicked when she handed it back, but she was already up and moving towards the door before he could stop her. She couldn't help but give a small smile and quick wave before she turned the corner, knowing deep down that everything was going to turn out okay. _They_ were going to be okay.

* * *

><p>With winter vacation rolling in just weeks after Ichigo and Rukia's unconventional get-together, it was time to head home for the holidays. While Tokyo was beautiful and vast, there was something about little Karakura Town and its narrow streets and suburban air that always had Karin excited to go back. Her roots were firmly dug into the cement of the streets and she'd have it no other way.<p>

Of course, there was a slight change in the festivities, as Ichigo announced that he would be bringing Rukia home with him for a few days. She could practically taste the mayhem that was going to occur. Between Dr. Isshin's embarrassingly energetic self and their mother Masaki and Yuzu's meddling, the dinner table would be filled with more things than food and merriment. It seemed that entertainment would be coming out of the house in spades, and Karin was more than ready to take bets to see how long Ichigo would last until he decided to execute mass genocide on the Kurosaki household.

Carrying a large luggage and stumbling into the living room, the middle child was greeted with high-pitched screams and a rather enthusiastic hug (which she dodged before going over to kiss her mother hello). Her father was left crying about how his children didn't love him anymore, how they'd grown up too fast and how he'd die alone on the floor. It only gave Karin motivation to walk right passed him as she said hello to Yuzu and sat at the kitchen table, asking if they had anything to eat. It was to the four of them in the middle of dinner that Ichigo and his guest fell upon, pausing for a second before greeting his family.

"_ICHIGO, MY SON!_" their father roared. With a side step (and a protective arm around Rukia's shoulders), the orange-haired man let Isshin collide into the wall with a boom while he walked to hug the rest of the Kurosaki clan. Torn between staring at the bearded man plastered to the wall and the awaiting women, the Kuchiki girl flicked her gaze back and forth nervously before moving to shake hands and properly greet Masaki and her daughters.

"We've heard so many good things about you," the older woman said sweetly, smiling in a way that made her age in reverse. Kurosaki Masaki was just as beautiful in her late-forties as she was in her early twenties, but motherhood just glowed on her. With her hair in a tight pony tail and suited in plain house clothes, she was the type that looked like she belonged anywhere she went, a one of a kind chameleon to be sure.

"Oh, well, thank you…" Her stuttered words gave away her apprehension, as she blushed at the unusual loss of her iron control. This wasn't the time to succumb to her nerves, but then again there had never been a time where she had to impress anyone this important. In front of old noble families and well-known politicians, she had made her parents very proud as the picture perfect daughter of the Kuchiki house. Now, she was trembling at her boyfriend's parents' feet and the complete failure was making her knees knock.

"Hi, I'm Yuzu! It's a pleasure to meet you!" the youngest greeted, looking much like her mother and grabbing the smaller woman in a hug. She looked over at Ichigo helplessly, who only shrugged his indifference. Her glare as she hugged the excited girl didn't go unnoticed by an amused Karin. But before she could say hello, their father had picked himself up and ran over to tackle the four-foot-eight girl with everything he had.

"If it isn't my third daughter, the beautiful Kuchiki Rukia! I am _so pleased_ and _humbled_ that you would choose to spend your holidays here with us in our home! You are much too kind and lovely to be with that demon son of mine!" Sobbing tears of joy down his face, he had a chokehold around Rukia's waist that was crushing the air from her small body. The only thing Ichigo could do was knock out the Neanderthal with a swift punch to the face before he grabbed Rukia, who was fighting for some much needed oxygen.

"Ichigo!" She panted, as she looked between his fierce face and the prone body of her former captor. Perhaps this was how things were done in the Kurosaki family, but Rukia just wasn't used to the idea of such flimsy parental boundaries. Regardless if this was the norm, she wasn't about to let her boyfriend go unscathed for his unruly actions (even if they were done for her).

"Fool, he was just being friendly! You didn't have to _hurt_ him!" Whipping her hand back, she clunked the carrot top along the back of his head, causing him to yelp loudly and clutch what was sure to be a large bump later on.

"_Oi!_ What was that for, Rukia?" He rubbed the sore spot with a deep glare set on her small face, but was immediately trumped by the authoritative beam in her eyes.

"He is your father. You have to show him some respect, especially in the presence of a guest. Even if you act like this normally, shouldn't you hold back a little?"

"'Hold back'? He was trying to crush you!"

She waved off the reply, shaking her head in dismay. Karin felt a bit sorry for her brother then, knowing that even she'd feel terribly small if Rukia gave her the same gesture. "If he's like this all the time, then I must learn to get used to it. Since we're dating, it's only right if your father treats me as he does you or your sisters. It would also make me feel more comfortable as well."

And even though she spoke with cool logic, Rukia couldn't seem to help the redness crossing her cheeks at the words. The way she talked made it sound like they were making plans for the future, as if they'd been together a few years instead of a few months. Her meaning didn't escape the older man either. Grumbling and letting a little color flush his own face, Ichigo threw a 'whatever' over his shoulder and stalked to his chair at the table, pouting a little at her reprimand.

But no one missed the way his lips twitch upward slightly, looking pleased at the idea that she was going to fit right in.

* * *

><p>Trudging through the snow, Karin grumbled at the groceries she was lugging home through the freshly fallen ice. With only a week or so before Christmas, the town was bright with both lights and cheer, but both were decidedly absent on her face. It probably had to do with the last minute shopping her mother had sent her out on, needing it for the Christmas dinner she was planning. Kurosaki Masaki was nothing if not thorough when it came to her family, and with Yuzu doing last minute gift grabbing and Ichigo and Rukia running around town on their own business, she'd been the only one left to do it. That, or risk letting their father loose on the poor unsuspecting city. Knowing him, he'd probably end up lost and get home three days later without the goods he had left for in the first place.<p>

Sighing tiredly, she adjusted the red scarf on her neck, pulling it closer to cover her nose. With all the decorations up, she was reluctant to admit that it was a little hard to stay in a bad mood. And all the small, private shops and stores were so adorably perfect in their straight lines that she couldn't help but feel like she was truly back in her hometown. As she continued down the street, her eyes fell on the commotion ahead of her, a crowd of girls who were screaming bloody murderer into the early evening. Led by the strong pull of her curiosity, Karin attempted to see passed shoulders and heads to find what the story was all about, only to realize that she was frustratingly too far from the center of the action.

"Oh, is that you, Karin-chan?" The voice was so distinctly familiar, but where had she heard it before?

Turning with her shopping bag still in hand, recognition rushed through her as she met the blue eyes of a busty strawberry blonde she'd encountered a few times before. Matsumoto Rangiku, the manager of _Death to the Party_ and Toushirou's distant cousin. Very distant, Karin thought, if her coloring and exuberant personality were anything to go by.

"Rangiku-san, what're you doing here?" she asked, putting on a friendly grin and walking towards her.

"Unfortunately I'm back in Karakura for business, not pleasure," the older woman pouted, looking strangely flirty for someone who was supposed to be upset. It was probably a default setting, since no matter how many times she tried to relay one emotion it always came back to that one. She should ask for a few lessons from Ichigo if she wanted to fix the little misgiving.

"Is that so?" She tried to ignore the way her heart sped up, as if anticipating the answer to her next question. "What kind of business?"

"Oh, you know, work stuff. I'm here with Hitsugaya and the others. They're shooting their next music video right here and we're doing some auditions." Damn, she knew it. Of course he'd be come back the same time as her, even if it was for a legitimate reason. Since that fateful day just over two months ago, Karin hadn't been able to get the lead singer out of her mind and now he was here as if being served on a platter. It was like Fate had stopped trying to make it seem like a coincidence and just wanted something to happen between them.

"That's cool. Well, tell them I say hi, okay?" She didn't want to face him, not now when she was in some thrown-on outfit and carrying a boatload of food. There was only so much her pride could take.

"Nonsense! You're coming to say hi in person." And before she could protest, Matsumoto grabbed the younger girl by the shoulders and pushed her through the crowd. Bypassing security was easy enough, though the burning glares they got from fangirls was enough to cause a shudder to course down Karin's backbone.

As she was practically pushed up the stairs and into the office on the second floor, she stumbled over her snow boots and across the threshold. She just barely caught herself before she actually fell, her bag dropping to the floor as Rangiku busted out with a 'look what I brought, everyone!' As if she needed one more reason to be embarrassed, she scanned the room to find that there were a number of pretty girls sitting in chairs along the closest wall, looking at her with bemusement. Well, her day was officially hell.

"Hey, it's Karin," Madarame greeted, not really a normal salutation but as close to one as any could get from him. The drummer man wasn't exactly known for his eloquence and poise after all. All she could do was wave her hand weakly, feeling very distinctly out of place, especially when dispassionate teal eyes fell on her form.

"Yo everybody." Composing herself as much as she could under the circumstances, she ignored the model-esque girls' stares as she grabbed her haphazardly thrown bag. She nearly breathed a sigh of relief when she noticed nothing was torn or damaged on her way in. She'd hate to go back with the weather the way it was. Going towards the table that housed all four band members and a few staff people she didn't know, she took a seat next to Rangiku and asked her questions in a hushed tone.

"What exactly are you guys auditioning for? What's with all the girls?" Her eyes scanned over them, taking in fresh faces and fit bodies, a wave of something unmentionable coursing through her. Not that she had any issues with herself; Karin knew that she wasn't perfect. She was proud of that fact even. But knowing that these were the type of women that normally surrounded rock stars didn't sit well in her stomach. _Death to the Party_ might have been an indie group initially, but their success and popularity weren't things anyone could look down on anymore, not with a fan base that was growing quickly and picking up speed.

"A new single is in the works and we're looking for the right girl to play the love interest. Here, these are the lyrics." Happily handing off the paper to her, Karin scanned the words, the vaguest sense of dread filling her before she even saw the first line. In a few short paragraphs, the feelings of a boy who couldn't confess to the girl he liked were somehow made clear as day. It was about guilty sleepless nights and pushing her away, all because he couldn't utter the things he needed to the way she deserved to hear them. Beautiful and somehow strangely heartbreaking, she thought to herself, as she glanced at the top of the page for the title.

_Unsaid by Hitsugaya Toushirou_

"Toushirou wrote this?" Her voice couldn't seem to hold back the shock. It shouldn't have been one, considering how much time he spent on his guitar with nothing but a pen and paper on hand. He'd done a number of their singles before so it wasn't a surprise, not really. And yet she still couldn't quite shake the feeling.

"Yep. He's also the main guy in the video," Rangiku explained, as her eyes assessed the current applicant with certain criticalness. "That's why we're here in Karakura looking for a girl instead of one in Tokyo. We wanted someone more natural, homegrown, to fit the part of childhood love."

"… Oh." And really, what else was there to say? After all, it wasn't her business who starred in their music video, much less who Toushirou wrote that song for. Making an excuse to go, Karin went to stand up but was stopped by a hand on her shoulder. Without even looking back at her, Hisagi was keeping her from walking out that door, but for what reason she wasn't sure. Soon enough, the young women were excused, bowing as they thanked them for their time and left right after. Stretching in their seats before standing up, the woman in the center looked to be the director, as she gathered everyone close to talk about the selections. Once again, Karin was feeling distinctly out of place in the small room, as she stayed right where she was, listening to them debate over each one.

"I didn't like this one. I feel like her face won't translate well on camera…"

"Pretty, but not very engaging. If I can't even listen to her, watching won't be much easier…"

"This girl was responsive and good with direction, but she doesn't fit the feeling of 'first love.' It sorta defeats the purpose…"

"This one was interesting. What d'you think about her?"

"Nah, there's something about her expressions that don't do it for me. Too forced…"

As they debated, Karin pulled out her phone from her pocket and texted her mom to tell her she was going to be late. Even if they finished soon, she'd likely be expected to have dinner or a drink with the group and she doubted she'd escape in a timely fashion. Because when Matsumoto wanted a party, then she wanted a good one. After shutting it close with a sigh, she didn't notice a pair of eyes fall on her, the gaze filled with purpose.

"Excuse me, but who are you again?" Neck snapping up, she looked to see a pair of yellow, cat-like eyes staring right at her. She would've flinched but the significant way she was being watched gave her a small sense of challenge, as she met the other woman with aplomb.

"I'm just a friend of the band's, waiting for them to finish," Karin explained, noticing how the other was walking towards her. Taking in the chocolate skin and high pony tail, the woman stood in front of the dark-haired Kurosaki and grabbed her chin. Turning her face to see both sides of her profile, Karin was tempted to curse an obscenity or two when the other looked at her with a Cheshire grin.

"You're rather pretty. Got a name, kid?"

"Maybe. Depends on who's asking." She glared up at the older woman, pulling her face away defiantly. Instead of making her mad, it only seemed to amuse the dark-skinned beauty more.

"Shihouin Yoruichi is. Wanna be in a MV, kid? You've got the spark for it, and your features aren't too bad either."

"First off, my name's not 'Kid,' it's Karin." She stood up, finding that she fell eye-to-eye with the exotic woman and feeling just a little more than pissed off at her arrogance. "And second, no. I've got no interest in making videos or any of that show biz stuff. I get enough of that on a daily basis."

"Oh yeah?" She raised a perfectly arched brow in question. "From who?"

"Her brother is Kurosaki Ichigo," Yumichika supplied helpfully, tucking his dark hair behind his ear. He seemed to be taking the director's suggestion to heart, as he looked at Karin with a new awareness in his stare. "She's right though. You are quite beautiful, Karin, and Yoruichi has impeccable instincts. That and I'm sure you'll have good chemistry with Hitsugaya during the filming."

At the sound of his name, Toushirou's head shot up and fell on the young woman in question. His eyes slid over her, taking in her sorry excuse for an outfit, wind-blown hair and the scowl on her features with listless eyes. Whatever thoughts he had on the idea were kept tightly in his head, as he turned away and looked toward the other two band mates.

"What do you two have to say?"

"I'm all for it. At least I actually like Karin. Plus, she's low maintenance so none of that prima donna bullshit other girls might pull." Ikkaku shrugged easily, as if already decided. It was simple enough for him to accept, especially since he knew he was bound to get some entertainment out of it. Those two had more than just 'good chemistry' with each other after all.

"I agree. I feel like it'd be the best bet," Hisagi offered, nodding towards her encouragingly. And even though he said the words lightly, there was something there behind his irises that had Karin mentally scratching her head. He knew something she didn't and that was the reason why he was agreeing, as well as the reason as to why he stopped her from leaving earlier. She just didn't know what it was.

"Oh, _please_ say yes! It'll be so much fun, Karin!" Rangiku pleaded with hearts and stars in her eyes. It probably had to do with that lifelong fantasy of dressing up her favorite tomboy and putting her in winter dresses, pretty boots and knitted clothing, things Karin would never willingly outfit herself in. And even if Karin had the ability to refuse, a quick cursory glimpse at Toushirou made her rethink that decision in an instant. Because he was looking at her in a way she'd never seen from him, secretive but almost expectant, as if he had much more riding on this decision than he was letting on.

And dammit, she wanted to find out just what the hell it was.

* * *

><p>Sitting on the blue covers of the bed, Rukia couldn't help but take in Ichigo's childhood bedroom. It was still littered with a number of his high school memorabilia: old manga, posters of athletes she didn't know, a worn-out desk, even a lion plushie that sort of gave her the willies. Somehow the idea that he was willing to share this private place with her, a room that no one but the very privileged got to see, made her heart swell in her chest.<p>

"Hey, you hungry?" he asked, stepping into the room with a towel around his shoulders, hair wet from his recent shower. "My mom's making some snacks downstairs. I think she's doing it for Karin 'cause she came back really mad from the store today and locked herself in her room. Don't know what it was all about though."

"I do. I got it out of her before she could close the door," she said, moving over to make room for him, as she curled her legs under her when he sat down. As she continued, she had the biggest, slyest grin on her face. "But you'll never guess what it is."

"You'd be surprised how well I know my sisters," he replied off-handedly, as if nothing they said or did could faze him. While Yuzu's mood swings were fairly normal and short lived, Karin's were distinctly personal and caused her to brood on occasion. Whatever was ruffling her feathers this time around was probably nothing new, he was sure of it.

"Okay, then guess." Rukia looked up at him expectantly, chest puffed with confidence and anticipation. Ichigo just couldn't help but find it adorable, the way her eyes twinkled up at him expectantly, as if he was about to give her a present. The majority of women he'd dated beforehand were relentless with his feelings once they started dating, pursuing him one minute and then playing coy the next. And though Ichigo understood that most of the female nature were wily, cunning things, to be with someone who was so innocently invested in him was refreshing.

"Let me think… Well, it's Karin so there's only a few things that could've caused this. Not school because we've been on vacation for a while now and nothing was going on before. Not soccer, unless she's going into withdrawals but I doubt that." Tapping his finger against his chin, he knocked his head for a few other reasons. She didn't have a part-time job because he was paying for the majority of her education, so definitely no work problems. Her soccer scholarship was also safe, especially after he'd heard how she demolished the other starters during try-outs last spring. That meant only one thing…

"It's gotta be a boy, and therefore it's probably Toushirou. Am I right?" He peeked over at the smaller girl, an expectant boyish smile on his face. The way hers fell only made him laugh, as it darkened in what he was sure was defeat. His family might have been odd but they were also fairly predictable, almost to the point where he could spin the wheel and he'd be able to guess every single one of their problems.

"Yeah, you're right," she pouted, crossing her arms over her chest with a huff. "She was recruited to do the music video for _Death to the Party_'s newest single alongside Hitsugaya-san. What I don't get is why she's so mad but still agreed to do it anyway."

"It's because Toushirou has the biggest issues when it comes to communication and Karin doesn't understand how to interpret his actions." Wrapping an arm around his girlfriend, he pulled her close, wanting to bury his face into her hair and just hold her for a second. With those two and their recent fights starting to escalate beyond just teasing, Ichigo found that he was rather lucky he had someone like Rukia, someone who didn't enjoy drama but instead avoided it like the plague. He lived enough of it in his scripts and daily life, so he was even more reluctant to take it home with him to meet his parents. That was probably why he'd found her so intriguing after that fateful first meeting; subconsciously he knew she was exactly what he was looking for.

"Wait, are you saying Toushirou likes Karin-chan, as in _like like_?" With her eyes going wide, he looked down at her riveted face, noticing how close she was to him with his arms wrapped tightly around her. Inwardly he decided he rather liked it, especially with her fingers clutching at the cotton of his shirt.

"The word 'like' is a bit of an understatement," he snorted before continuing. "Do you know those bullies on the playground as kids, the guys who pulled a girl's hair because he had a crush on her? Well, Toushirou's just a grown-up version of that kid and fighting with her is his way of pulling Karin's hair, metaphorically speaking, of course."

"Wow. That seems so… _not_ like Hitsugaya-san at all," she murmured, her voice full of wonder. It made him glower lightly, knowing she had more than just a passing fancy for the bleach-haired boy. After all, a celebrity crush didn't just disappear, and he had a feeling she'd always carry a small flame for him. Didn't mean he had to like it though. "So, what? They've been dancing around each other all this time? Why haven't you told them?"

"Because it's not really any of my business." He ignored the accusatory way she looked at him, giving a shrug as she raised herself to her knees so they were eye-level. "If they're gonna make that transition, then they have to do it themselves. I'm not gonna bail them out. Getting together is the easy part. If they can't even do that on their own, then they're probably not right for each other in the long run."

"Aren't you just full of wisdom," she taunted jokingly, her amusement causing her eyes to glitter prettily. And for once, Ichigo decided not to choke down that pooling of desire in his gut, as he moved closer and kissed her lips softly. With a surprised sigh, Rukia's eyes fluttered close, her arms curling around his shoulders as she pressed herself to him. Stealing a bit of his body heat, she tilted her head to the side, her fingers toying with soft, sun-tainted locks and causing shivers to go through him. He couldn't quite keep down the small grumble of possessiveness in his throat, as he took her small waist in his hands and laid her down against the soft covers of his bed, pulling away only to nibble at the tender skin of her neck. He was rewarded with a small whine, as she attempted to tug him back up to her mouth, their lips just a breath apart when an interruption fell on their ears.

"Oi, Ichigo, remember to use a condom unless you plan to give me grandchildren by this time next year!" And if it wasn't enough that now everyone in the house knew he was making out—and probably thinking he was doing more—with his girlfriend, he was fairly sure he wouldn't hear the end of it for the rest of the week. Falling so he was lying next to her, Ichigo placed his forearm over his eyes and whispered dark threats upon his father's head, as a flushed Rukia laughed spiritedly and draped herself over his chest.

"Fucking never coming here for the holidays ever again…"

* * *

><p>"Okay everyone, quiet on set!"<p>

The deep female voice boomed, as the staff in the small coffee shop obeyed the command and fell into hushed whispers. It was the first day of shooting in the most popular café in Karakura, an intimate hole-in-the-wall that looked like a combination of the Victorian era and current contemporary styles. And as with Karin's luck, it was a romantic setting with dim lights and small wired tables, giving off that dreamy feeling just by looking at it.

This particular scene was for her and Toushirou, as they talked like friends but with love in their eyes, a situation where they had to tread the line very carefully in fear of overstepping too far into one or the other. Her nervousness was nearly palpable, as she stood in the very girly (but rather pretty, if she was honest) white dress that clung to her and intensified the feminine curves she possessed. Her hair had been curled and teased to fall around her face, as her countenance was highlighted to bring out her large gray eyes and high cheekbones. _Oh how the mighty have fallen_, she couldn't help but think.

She also couldn't help the once-over she gave Toushirou, who was dressed to contrast her in dark jeans and a navy blue button down. Despite the tame attire, he looked every bit the rock star with his hair in that messy fashion and naturally cool demeanor. It was as if she coming across a different side of him and she was terrified. This wasn't the boy she knew but a mature man with his job in mind, and suddenly she realized just how real all of this was.

"I don't think I can do this…" she mumbled, plucking at the bottom of the dress with distressed fingers.

"Don't worry so much. You'll be great!" Rangiku cheered, as she nudged her towards the table. Taking her seat, she nodded towards Hitsugaya, who met her eyes with disinterest. Of course he wouldn't be nervous. He did this for a living, singing into cameras and pumping up crowds were a weekly thing for him. But not her, and she knew the agony was apparent on her face.

"Alright you guys. We start in three, two…" And the one was silent as Yoruichi gave the signal to begin rolling. With her heart literally bounding in her chest, Karin wasn't even sure she could start a conversation, let alone make doe eyes at her partner, at least not without looking like a fool. So intent on staring at criss-cross pattern of the grated table top, she didn't register how Hitsugaya leaned closer until it was too late.

"Relax, you look like you're about to have a heart attack," he said gently, taking one of her hands from the countertop. Her neck literally snapped up, as she came to stare at the softest looking Toushirou she'd ever seen. So singer, genius _and_ actor? Well if that wasn't just the most annoying thing she'd ever come across. If he didn't have some serious personality problems, then she'd swear he was a robot. Or maybe he was one because of those things. She wasn't really sure anymore.

"I can't! I don't know what I'm doing," she whispered harshly, tearing her hand away with a blushing scowl. It probably wasn't what they wanted, but their director hadn't said cut so Karin didn't think she minded. Because this was supposed to be just her and Toushirou being themselves, only in front of a large amount of people and cameras that were taping their every move.

"Just talk to me. You do it all the time don't you?" Somehow his eyes seemed to darken with laughter, a dare to keep up with him. This was his territory, child's play really, and now she was on his turf, playing by his rules. Unfortunately for her, it seemed that Hitsugaya was well aware of Karin's habits, understanding that he'd have to draw the feelings from her. And with all the time they'd known each other, nothing was a better motivator than the thought of losing to him, as her own gaze reflected his right back at him.

Just as he planned it.

Slowly it became easier, making it look like they were telling secrets and stories that only the two of them would ever know. A little bit of her laughter, an unintended smirk from him, and it was smooth sailing as some of that unintentional chemistry crept into the atmosphere. But while it looked perfectly serene to those on the outside, between Karin and Toushirou it was a game to see who could keep their calm in the face of an audience. So instead of sweet nothings and childish glee, they spit one insult after the other, merely acting as if they were having a personal dialogue rather than provoking the other with some veiled slur.

And then something caught her ears, as Karin seemed to pull back from their scuffle for a moment. Recognizing his voice and the lyrics, she realized they were playing the newly recorded song, as she seemed to comprehend just how amazing it had turned out. It was a quintessential ballad, the bass of his voice following the smooth style that was unlike anything she'd heard from the band before. Her look of awe must have lasted longer than she intended because there was another tug on her hand, as she lost herself in sea green eyes again.

"Don't forget where you are, Karin. We're still filming," he warned, his face still uncharacteristically warm. She just barely stifled the urge to roll her eyes, as she let a sensible smile flit across her own.

"Hey, can I ask you a question?" If they were going keep this charade up, then she might as well get something out of it. She was doing them a favor since she decided she didn't want to be paid for it (it felt wrong taking her friends' money, after all), but she hadn't known what she'd want in exchange. Now she did.

"Depends," he said with a shrug, keeping his voice low. While most of their arguments had been aloud and entertaining enough for the others, the look in her eyes was different. She looked like she had a secret to tell him and he knew she'd demand things once all this was over unless he appeased her now. Might as well get this out of the way before that happened.

"Well, first, I lied. It's not _a_ question, but two," she began, smiling before making the move to ruffle his bangs because she knew he absolutely despised it. It brought back memories of being the wimpy grade school student who was adored by adults for being so tiny and the favorite target for oversized upperclassmen. He glared hard, for once letting his real self out and making her smile even greater at the victory. "And I want two truthful answers from you. And no, you don't get a pass on either of them. I'm doing this for free after all."

"Fine, fine, whatever," he mumbled, moving to fix his previously styled hair to something more presentable. But he'd given his go-ahead so she launched into it immediately, current conditions notwithstanding.

"Why are you a singer in a band instead of the CEO or whatever-the-hell-you-are in your family's company?" She spoke in a muted tone so she wouldn't give away the change in their topic. Karin wasn't sure how much longer they'd be forced to do this but with so many people still watching them intently, she had a feeling it would be a while. She had to make the most of her time.

"Who says I'm not?" he shrugged before that charming façade came down again, causing a whirl of emotions in her that were both good and bad. On one hand, he made her pulses quicken and her breath shorten, as if she'd been designed to react to him on a level she couldn't comprehend. But on the other, there was the sting of resentment, perhaps even a bit of anger. Because while Toushirou was handsome—perhaps even beautiful if one was inclined to call men such a thing—Karin couldn't help but dislike how he looked right now. The boy she knew was someone who hid behind his mask, letting only traces of his emotions out for people he deemed worthy. Right now, this all felt very fake, staged in a way that wasn't just about the make-up and lighting, and making her anticipate the end of this charade even more.

"Just answer the question, smartass." She couldn't help the slight bite to her tone.

"I'm serious. Just because I don't show up to the office every day doesn't mean I'm not going to end up there." While he looked contemplative, his voice was serious, eyes becoming steel at the current topic. All she could do was watch, as he tucked a piece of her hair behind the shell of her ear with care. She pretended she didn't pink unnaturally at the attention. "I'm only allowed to continue performing until I'm twenty-five. After that, I have to pack up my guitar and take over."

"But you love music." He caught how her mood seemed to plummet, her own expression turning into surprised disbelief as if she was feeling his own sadness and disappointment. This time he made no gesture to scold her for the unprofessional change. Actually, he found it rather comforting to know that someone felt sympathy for him; though she didn't need to nor was he sure he deserved it.

Toushirou had never lived a hard life, had never gone without food or shelter, and thus he had no right to complain about something that any other would've taken without a second thought. Since he was born, he had been raised as a man of duty with logic and sound judgment, the perfect heir to an international powerhouse. It just so happened that he was also a man of many passions, one who fell hard for one particular love that didn't suit the other half of his life. So just this once, he declined on commenting further, silently stating that he had little else to offer on the subject.

"And your other question?"

"Oh, right…" she mumbled, snapping back to the present as if coming back from a trance. But it was a hard idea to fathom, a world without Toushirou on stage as he strived to play the perfect set in harmony with his bandmates. Even though she knew it wasn't going to happen yet, a sense of loss filled her. As he tilted his head in question, she readied herself for the other thought on her mind, not sure if she'd be able to hear the answer to this one without completely falling out of character. She decided to take her chances. "This song…" She closed her eyes for a moment, trying to get a sense of how he must have felt while he penning it. "Who did you have in mind when you wrote it?"

The blood in her rushed to her ears, overpowering the music and causing the pounding in her head. When she reopened them, Toushirou's face closed off entirely, as if forgetting where he was and what he was supposed to be doing. In the background she could hear Yoruichi calling 'cut!' and asking for a play back, knowing that she wasn't going to get any more out of the white-haired man at the moment. They were both left at the table, as people scrambled to grab a monitor and hook it up to the computer to see what was recorded. Despite the fact that they had certainly caught some magical moments, a number of them were wondering if another take was necessary or if they'd be able to pack up and move to the next location. But Karin didn't notice a single person other than the one across from her, even as he stood up and moved to walk away. However, her question didn't go unanswered.

"I was thinking of you, idiot."

* * *

><p>With a recent storm blowing in and out of town, Karin wasn't called back to film for the next two days. The bands' group and solo shots were done in a warehouse in the industrial district so she wasn't needed. Today was going to be the final one where they'd shoot scenes of her and Hitsugaya, both together and separate. And while she felt incredibly awkward whenever she made eye contact with him or was forced to hold his hand, he didn't react to her at all, at least not in a way that wasn't already planned beforehand. He was the perfect manifestation of self-possession, giving her affection only when their fiery director told him to.<p>

As she watched some of her solo takes, her eyes drifted to him again, accidental but with something of a demand in them. She willed his eyes to turn towards her, compelling him to say or do something that told her they were okay, that they hadn't changed. But that would be an impossible task because now she knew and she'd never be able to un-know it.

"You got a real knack for this, kid," Yoruichi praised, looking at the screen with impressed eyes. There, Karin was smiling and laughing at the camera, a glowing beam on her features as if she was looking into the eyes of her lover. This was what made a good video, a person who drew the audience in and hypnotized them into falling in love with her. The young Shihouin's intuition told her that Karin was capable of that and much more.

"Oh, thanks, I guess…" she trailed, not really enjoying the notion of watching herself. She had enough troubles looking at her brother when he was in some cheesy commercial. She might just expire if she watched the music video in full, but decided not to mention that.

"Sure you don't wanna join your brother as an actor? Talent seems to run in your family," she encouraged, but Karin shook her head vigorously. All she wanted was normalcy and after this hopefully that was what she'd get. Their next scenario was going to be their last one for the day, as a few women dressed in snow jackets came to powder her face and spray down a few stray strands. Honestly Karin couldn't wait to shower. She'd never felt so processed before in her life.

She could feel herself shaking, and not just from the cold either. While considerably less dressed than the crew for the weather (she was sure it was well below freezing), it was the conclusion to this entire ordeal that was getting the better of her.

_Definitely never doing this again_, she thought miserably, as she was called to take her spot in the snow covered park. It was a veritable winter wonderland with the playground covered in freshly fallen slush and the trees painted white, the sort of scene that would take people to days to create but what nature did in moments, the perfect scene for the ending of a love story. But just whose love story were they playing out?

As she stood before Toushirou, she felt her nerves getting the better of her again, her stomach doing flips while her heart hammered against her ribcage in protest. And yet he looked so normal, completely unfeeling while he regarded her like he always had, as if she was still that child who needed someone to look after her. It was a far cry from what she'd expected him to be like after his almost-but-not confession. The thought was forced from her head as Yoruichi settled into her seat, as she called for lights, camera and action.

But neither of them moved.

Pulling herself together mentally, Karin sized him up, taking in his perfect silhouette. And when she pieced all of him together, she found that there were so many things about him that she had overlooked. Like how the thin fleece jacket hid wide shoulders and a tapered waist, the ideal kind of body a woman would want to lean on and enfold herself in. How he was only a scant few inches taller than her in her slightly heeled boots and yet he held himself with charisma befitting his upbringing. How the iciness in his eyes wasn't really nonchalance or detachment but a barrier, a wall to protect himself from the rest of the world. In this case, her. And it was the oddest piece of knowledge to know that he was the one guarding his heart and not vice versa, a turnaround she would've never predicted. It seemed that even boy prodigies were terrified of being turned down, especially the ones who were decidedly lacking in the social graces that everyone else practiced with ease.

So when he leaned down to her, battling to keep his emotions at bay and just do his job, Karin couldn't help the grin that traveled across her features. It must have surprised him because he paused for a moment, unsure whether to clear the distance, when she took matters into her own hands. Standing on her tiptoes, she pressed her own against his snow-cooled lips, chapped from the wintery wind and probably his own nervous licking of them. But they were warmed by hers, as he parted her mouth and tasted the sweetness she offered, a cocktail of innocence he had endeavored to protect and the maturity of the woman she'd become, both potent in ways he hadn't been expecting. The world melted away as he wrapped an arm around her waist and placed a gloved hand against her cheek to tilt her towards him, his tongue pulling a half-gasp, half-moan from her. And in the heat of the moment, the bone-chilling weather completely disappeared until they parted for breath, lips just barely brushing as if trying to breathe each other in.

"Okay… That was good, but can we do it again with a little less tongue?" Deciding not to turn towards the feline-esque Yoruichi and the others in the wildly smirking crew, Karin just buried herself into Toushirou's neck and prayed that they couldn't see her embarrassed, flaming face.

* * *

><p>With the release of the single a month later, it was the group's largest mainstream hit. There was no full-scale advertising of it, nothing but their website posting it up and word-of-mouth, as was their usual marketing plan. But it seemed to be more than enough, as <em>Death to the Party<em>'s entrancing song and their MV of the beautiful, love struck couple placed well on charts across various stations throughout the country.

A large part of its popularity was due to the interest that Karin brought, as the media latched onto the 'debut' of Kurosaki Ichigo's younger sister. She was compared to him and their mother, commended for her beauty and shining talent. But Karin called it all bullshit, saying she could've been eating ramen and the world would've loved it simply because she was her brother's sister. So when she was asked to attend interviews and sign contracts for advertisements, she turned them down graciously with all the elegance her brother had taught her. He explained that it was best to turn them away as firmly as possible or they'd wear the person down into submission. She didn't doubt him when it came to those sort of things.

But at the end of the day, the only part of her life that had truly changed was her relationship status. As she opened the door to her boyfriend's apartment, she didn't make a sound as she heard him playing in the living room, probably composing something more in his element to get all of the attention off the group. While happy that the song had been well received, Hitsugaya was less interested in what the general public wanted and was more concerned with what his next piece would be. Besides, it wasn't as if he could go to an interview and say that the origin of their break-out song was the girl who starred in its video. Not if he wanted to keep his manhood intact; he couldn't even stomach thinking the words, let alone saying them aloud.

The shuffling of her steps weren't nearly as quiet as she wanted, as he waited for her to wrap herself around him. In contrast to her bright smile's greeting, he wore that sarcastic expression he always did, his real emotions just simmering beneath the surface. He'd never be able to put into words that she was inspiration personified, his own personal bottle that held the sweetest, most addictive of flavors. And as he pulled her chin forward to meet his lips, there was no doubt in Toushirou's mind that he would never truly fall out of love with music, or his one and only muse.

**THE END**

* * *

><p><strong>AN:<strong> I don't know about anyone else, but I really liked this story line. _Every Day Secrets_ and _Be My Muse_ were so much fun and I'm not sure why. So yeah might be doing more stories like these ones later. Not anytime soon but one of these days. Also, probably going to do HitsuKarin for Valentine's Day. As if I don't spoil you guys enough, right? ;D _AND!_ A new IchiRuki fic will be coming out from me and it's (officially) called _Love Contract_. Here's the summary:

Just a few months out of college and Kurosaki Ichigo is in a bit of a bind. With no way to fund himself through medical school, he decides to create a jack-of-all-trades business to help save up the money. But while he's not floundering he's either got to make a lot of money fast or consider going to med as an old geezer. Then one day, Kuchiki Rukia comes to him and she looks like she might be the answer to his prayers. Her job for him: play her beau for the next six months and she'll pay him any amount he wants. Her only condition: don't fall in love. It seems easy enough... right?

I love the smell of a new fic. I just wish I wasn't the one writing it. LOL I spend so much time writing that I keep forgetting to go through all the wonderful fics I've backlogged. Oh well. Must keep moving forward. So, yeah, will probably begin _Love Contract_ and _Going Against the Grain_ after Valentine's Day so I have enough time to get something ready for V-Day.

I hope you all enjoyed the story! Please review/favorite if you enjoyed! Until next time!


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